[ayso45-refs] Request: Message to coaches on "ref chatter"

[Jordan Dea-Mattson]

Hi Tom -

Thank you for your comments. I greatly appreciate it.

It was only the head coach on our side that was making the comments. I
did appreciate that the assistant coaches made a point after the game
of coming out and telling me that they appreciated how I did. It also
meant a lot - even when I made some calls against them - that the
visiting team coach made a point of encouraging me.

Yours,

Jordan

PS. I never considered giving up being a referee, was just questioning
working with my son's coach. But I will be hanging in there!
On 10/2/06, Tom Rodeheffer <tom at rodeheffer.net> wrote:
> I was the AR on the visiting sideline for Jordan's game.  I didn't hear
> the comments from the home side coaches.  I thought that Jordan did an
> entirely reasonable job in calling the game.  I'm sure I made at least as
> many mistakes as he did.
>
> Jordan thought he was having a really bad day.  It has got to be tough at
> U9 to center your own kid's game.  I remember how tough it was to run
> lines on my son's U10 games.  And I remember the disorienting feeling that
> I was losing it at center.
>
> Got to get a message to those coaches, or we won't have any new refs.
> Just sorry I didn't hear the backtalk myself.
>
> -Tom Rodeheffer
>
>
> > Hi -
> >
> > How would we go about getting a message out to coaches on "ref chatter"?
> >
> > I am the team ref for both of my son's teams. This last week I refed a
> > UB-09 game, and I am the first to admit that I didn't do my best job
> > of doing it.
> >
> > In the game, our team's senior coach was making a running commentary
> > on my calls and the job I was doing. As you can imagine, it is awkward
> > for me broach the issue with him, because I am the parent of a player
> > on his team. I don't want to alienate him.
> >
> > While I got support from the assistant coaches and the coaches from
> > the other team [in fact, I felt more support from the other team in my
> > work as a ref], I feel extremely uncomfortable with the situation
> > here.
> >
> > This was only compounded when several of the kids on my son's team -
> > reacting to the chatter from the coach - told me, "You are a bad ref".
> > Now, one of the Assistant Coaches jumped on this and got them to
> > apologize, but it was still very awkward.
> >
> > While I am past it, I seriously thought about resigning as our team's
> > ref due to the situation. I decided I wouldn't do that to my son and
> > that I could and would improve my refing, so that I felt confident I
> > was doing a good job, even if the coach didn't.
> >
> > Would it be possible to get a message out to coaches reminding them to
> > not comment and/or criticize refs at work?
> >
> > Yours,
> >
> > Jordan
> > --
> >
> > Jordan Dea-Mattson
> > jordan at dea-mattson.com
> >
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> >
>
>
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-- 

Jordan Dea-Mattson
jordan at dea-mattson.com