[ayso45-refs] Request: Message to coaches on "ref chatter"

[Tom Rodeheffer]

I was the AR on the visiting sideline for Jordan's game.  I didn't hear
the comments from the home side coaches.  I thought that Jordan did an
entirely reasonable job in calling the game.  I'm sure I made at least as
many mistakes as he did.

Jordan thought he was having a really bad day.  It has got to be tough at
U9 to center your own kid's game.  I remember how tough it was to run
lines on my son's U10 games.  And I remember the disorienting feeling that
I was losing it at center.

Got to get a message to those coaches, or we won't have any new refs. 
Just sorry I didn't hear the backtalk myself.

-Tom Rodeheffer


> Hi -
>
> How would we go about getting a message out to coaches on "ref chatter"?
>
> I am the team ref for both of my son's teams. This last week I refed a
> UB-09 game, and I am the first to admit that I didn't do my best job
> of doing it.
>
> In the game, our team's senior coach was making a running commentary
> on my calls and the job I was doing. As you can imagine, it is awkward
> for me broach the issue with him, because I am the parent of a player
> on his team. I don't want to alienate him.
>
> While I got support from the assistant coaches and the coaches from
> the other team [in fact, I felt more support from the other team in my
> work as a ref], I feel extremely uncomfortable with the situation
> here.
>
> This was only compounded when several of the kids on my son's team -
> reacting to the chatter from the coach - told me, "You are a bad ref".
> Now, one of the Assistant Coaches jumped on this and got them to
> apologize, but it was still very awkward.
>
> While I am past it, I seriously thought about resigning as our team's
> ref due to the situation. I decided I wouldn't do that to my son and
> that I could and would improve my refing, so that I felt confident I
> was doing a good job, even if the coach didn't.
>
> Would it be possible to get a message out to coaches reminding them to
> not comment and/or criticize refs at work?
>
> Yours,
>
> Jordan
> --
>
> Jordan Dea-Mattson
> jordan at dea-mattson.com
>
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