[ayso45-refs] Request: Message to coaches on "ref chatter"

[Jordan Dea-Mattson]

Hi -

How would we go about getting a message out to coaches on "ref chatter"?

I am the team ref for both of my son's teams. This last week I refed a
UB-09 game, and I am the first to admit that I didn't do my best job
of doing it.

In the game, our team's senior coach was making a running commentary
on my calls and the job I was doing. As you can imagine, it is awkward
for me broach the issue with him, because I am the parent of a player
on his team. I don't want to alienate him.

While I got support from the assistant coaches and the coaches from
the other team [in fact, I felt more support from the other team in my
work as a ref], I feel extremely uncomfortable with the situation
here.

This was only compounded when several of the kids on my son's team -
reacting to the chatter from the coach - told me, "You are a bad ref".
Now, one of the Assistant Coaches jumped on this and got them to
apologize, but it was still very awkward.

While I am past it, I seriously thought about resigning as our team's
ref due to the situation. I decided I wouldn't do that to my son and
that I could and would improve my refing, so that I felt confident I
was doing a good job, even if the coach didn't.

Would it be possible to get a message out to coaches reminding them to
not comment and/or criticize refs at work?

Yours,

Jordan
-- 

Jordan Dea-Mattson
jordan at dea-mattson.com